Pain

I am hurting deeper than I have ever thought possible. I truly cannot do anything right, no matter how hard I try. There are times I want to just give up and say forget it. It feels like the weight gets deeper every day and the directions to act get harder and harder. What do I do? Why is this happening? Feelings Inventory: Wrong Worthless Pain Fear Doubt Mourning Clouded Hurting Facade I dont want to feel this way anymore. I dont want to hurt someone everytime I take an action. I cannot get it right. I cannot please everyone. I cannot please myself. I cannot fix this.

Good bye

Weekend. 

Love

Many scholars have spent centuries trying to determine exactly what love is. I'm lucky because it only took me about 25 years to figure it out. I knew what love was the day I met my would be wife.
Now, I'm not saying that I don't learn more about what love is every day. She shows me new ways to express love and new ways to make love stronger.
Love is.... Being at my side when I am happy.... Sitting back and listening to my sorrows... even if they are my own fault.... Being my biggest fan... even when I am not that fanworthy... Cuddling next to me watching a movie only I can love..... Kissing me all over when I feel sad.... Giving the best "wife" in the world..... Enjoying my toys as much as her own.... Liking my family even when they don't always deserve it.... Liking me when I don't deserve it.... Dropping her own needs for our kids so much when they don't have it coming.... Caring for animals that depend on her for everything in life.... Getting more excited about a newly bloomed plant than a bursting bank account.... Having that glow as I walk up to her that lets me know she is mine. I love you babe. You are the best woman a man could hope for and better than any woman a man can dream up. Happy Valentines Day. May this year be filled with budding trees, blooming flowers, and over-filled vines!!!

Love and Appreciation

I just want to say today how much I love my girl. We had a sad loss yesterday but my girl was an amazing blessing.
She is so strong. She is so passionate. She is so loving. I could not make it through the hard times in life without her.
Our life is blessed by the ones we choose to care for in life. I am so lucky to take this journey with her.
I love you infinitely.
ANF

Waste

I am far from perfect. I am not a writer...as you can see.. But.... Our society is full of waste, stupidity, and laziness It is all around us. Cars that cost $50,000 that should be $20,000 (and will probably be re-selling for $5000 within a couple of years....), clothes that are $100 or more per piece, homes that cost twice what they are worth........... This list can go on and on. Why does it continue to get worse in the U.S.? Why does the sentiment of entitlement get stronger every year?

To me, the answer is simple. The answer is captured so well in the movie Idiocracy. If you have not seen it, I suggest you do. It is silly, but it is sadly true. This society is dumbing down every day. Television is simply horrible. One cannot even watch the History Channel or Discovery without being bombarded by fake "reality" programs. Our children are learning all they need to know from Spongebob......

People do not care to self educate. They long for the days of the "Matrix" where intelligence will simply be downloaded. They refuse to take ownership for their choices. They refuse to work for what they want. I am tired of hearing... " if they can have it, I deserve it too!" some are born with wealth, others work hard to attain it. We all have the opportunity, save the truly disabled. I have seen people with major challenges overcome and become successful.

I worry about this country's future. The worry has NOTHING to do with politics and everything to do with medias control over the minds of the masses. I love good movies and tv but I am about to say enough. Even commercials are dumbing down more every day. If you do not get offended regularly by the portrayal of mankind in commercials, you might need to evaluate your own intelligence.

I would love a mass media outlet that did not pander to the lazy, mindless subculture that is taking over this country....

Anyway...I won't fix anything here today. Just find it better to get it out, rather than build up the frustration.

Good luck USA.... No... Good luck world.....

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for so many things in my life. I do not usually do a good job of telling people that, but I really need to. My life has been filled with blessing, and made stronger through trials. I was blessed with wonderful family and a strong upbringing. I am blessed with an enchanted life, fulfilled dreams, and an incredible partner.

My wife is everything a man could ask for in life. She is smart, beautiful, loving, and passionate. She is the full package. I love her more than I tell her and need her more than she will admit.

I hope everyone has something to be thankful for this year that touches their heart enough to share it with others.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

I am full

I have had a very large dinner. Now I am sleepy and full. Time to snooze and digest. Maybe a little loving later.